I’ve been a foster and then adoptive parent for over 16 years. Looking back, when my wife and I got licensed, we had not the slightest idea what we were getting ourselves into. Truth be told, if we had known what we know now, we might not have become foster parents. On the other hand, we wouldn’t have the lasting relationships with three remarkable young people who we have chosen to think of as our kids. These relationships are truly important to me, and I would not miss them for the world. Certainly, being foster parents changed us a lot as people, in unexpected ways.

Now that our youngsters are growing up (the youngest is about to graduate from high school), it’s time for me to write down what I learned over the years, in the hope that it is useful for others. I know that what I’m about to write down would have been useful for me back then! In fact, much more useful than what they tell you in the parenting classes that are supposed to make you ready to be a foster parent. (Hint: they don’t. And yes, I will express my opinions on this blog, that’s what you are here for, right?)

Disclaimer: I know nothing about caring for kids below 4-and-a-half. We never took care of any kid younger than that, and I’m certain there are lots of things to know for younger kids that I simply don’t know. On the other hand, we do know the rest of the age range from 4-and-a-half through the teenage years, all the way well into adulthood. And no, parenting changes but does not stop there.

If you feel like it, feel free to leave comments anywhere on the site. I’ll try to respond.

Let’s get started.